fighting off villains with water pistols since 1984

shut down until further notice
if you like you can remove
uboastrikesback
meet_the_sky
heartheldwishes
4h_earthgirl

if i make another of these, you'll know
but i don't know on doing it, well, anytime soon.

Today is not.. a good day to breath.

u___u

*inhalers*

Note to self: actually reschedule asthma test, yeah?

Is it strange to be able to see one, seamless path through the rest of your life... and for once, be confident that you could have it, if only you tried?

what is the meaning of my life?

I really wish I knew what the hell was wrong with me.

I'm - not going to delete my posts from earlier, but I'm feeling a lot better now, and I - today was bad. Really bad.

A big part of it is because there's signs that after four months of remission, my lyme may be back. If it is, I have to go back to chemo for it (Heavy antibiotics they call chemo because of how hard they hit the body). I find out later today if it's back.

I'm scared, guys. I'm really scared. It's enough to deal with the cat scratch fever.

I don't know.

I don't want to put Phoe through lyme. I don't want to go through it again. I've enjoyed these four months.

Cross your fingers for me, please?

you know.

i just don't feel like complaining about anything ever anymore.

y'all can assume my day was awesome or assume it sucked and had lots of sister yelling and sick but i just

am not going to frustrate or sadden people with any of it anymore, ever

it's cool, i can handle this stuff

no, i'm not having one of the most terrible nights of the year at all.

not even percocet worked on this goddamn physicalpain, and now my last one is gone.

SHOP N' DROP LIST FOR HOPEFULLY THE 27

*Get something nice, okay.
*Plane ticket.
*Find out what weather is there right now.
*Secondhand clothes story, depending on prices, Phoe can get two outfits and I can get two outfits.
*Buy as much of Maka's cosplay outfit as I can
*New shoes, fuck.
*Spending money.
*DR, SP, G, WE, cords
*Check prescriptions for refills.
*Sketchbook
*24-hours-ahead airline disabled services request.
*Cheapo traveling bag
*Underwear
*Travel toothbrush/paste/shampoo/conditioner/deoderant
*A hat that isn't a goddamn baseball cap.
*Travel phone so I can do some of the things I'm there for.
*...du...r... I know I'm missing shit but what? I HAVEN'T TRAVELED IN A MILLION YEARS SOMEONE HELP ME, GOD ;.;

Two new meds to start (sort of, started the first one, limited course, yesterday). Little to no -actual- sleep since the 19. Also under ER watch again today (hurr hurr). Attempting to stave off the last two by drugged sleep today.

Trying to be on today, but if we're not, you know it's because we -really- needed sleep from stressful doctors and nurses.

Peh.

This is your daily public service announcement:

kitsune_rin is awesome and pwns socks and sliced bread forever.

Remember it well, for this fact may be one of the greatest you've ever learned!

♥ ,

-S and P

I feel like ass. And an ass.

In the meantime, I'm on ER watch again. If I have to go, I have to go to the crappy one that kept me overnight to assess me for appendicitis, and then sent me away without ever figuring out why my white blood cell count was dangerously high.

OBGYN assesses my records tomorrow, and lets me know whether I qualify for an emergency appointment, or whether I have to wait until April 9th to be seen. On the bright side, if I have to go today, I get seen by one now.

Still need someone who has access to paypal and easy access to Western Union. :/ Efforts will be made worthwhile.

My stomach frickin hurts.

[edit: stomach hurts so much took my next dose of percoset early. still doesn't work. man, i give up on trying to not hurt.]

I just want to find somewhere and start over. Stay there for a year, work on my health, work on getting myself back on track.

....where? How?

lol.

dunno how i coniviced myself i coud get away with beig selfishheh.
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm,,,,,,,,at school

heh srd nce end


i dunno third poin t nifel

Steroids are kind to no one, and I still have seven dosages left.

Sleep deprivation isn't kind, either.

Nor is what's currently happening to my leg, but I'm not going into that. We'll see what they say at UC tomorrow.

My body and mental state still hasn't recovered from the stress of the last several weeks and now there's lots of various things to stress over today. All I want to do is sleep until more people get on. But I can't really do that, and it's not a good coping mechanism, either, even if I did only get two hours sleep.

I am the only person who could manage to give themselves heatstroke on the second warm day of the season.

. . . .

COME ON WITH THIS SHIT.

Sleep now, on at 7pm eastern / 4pm cali / 1am serbia. Kthnxbai.

I'm hyper and can't sleep because of my head meds. I am going to try in a few minutes anyway, but if I can't, I am sooo screwed for tomorrow.

Brooke called my meds (complete with botchy photo) a 'rickroll in the form of pills', and she's right. The bag calls it one name. The label on the box calls it two other names. I take 21 steroids over the course of six days. Six at bedtime today.

1 morning, 1 evening, and then 2 at bedtime second day.

1 morning, 1 afternoon, 1 evening, 1 bedtime third day.

1 morning, 1 at afternoon, 1 bedtime fourth day.

1 at morning, 1 at bedtime fifth day.

1 morning sixth day, done.

It looks like the packaging they use for the long term leprosy pills. The pharmacist instructions were merely USE AS DIRECTED, and I was *headtilts* until I saw the foil. Dear god.

The reason for all this is that apparently, in actual terms, all the painkillers they used turn my migraine from a normal migraine, to a complex migraine caused by all the blood vessels in my brain swelling at once.

Harr.

Catscan turned out fine, nothing abnormal in my brain. If I'd had a fever they would have done a spinal tap, but I don't so they didn't.

I basically did a lot of sleeping and have a needle hole ; <-- a little less sized than that, in my hand. woo.

They injected compazine first, it was kind of poor nursing, the guy was like here do you have any allergies: Me, nope. Guy: Okay, this is compazine. Me: ...I thought you were asking for pain meds, you said you'd give -- THAT GIVES ME SEIZURES DUDE

Fail on both the doctor and nurse's parts, since my charts have every single allergy in 'em. He managed to catch it before it got down the IV line into my hand (it was about halfway there, thank god for quick speaking) and gave me another IV bag of fluids. >.>

I got Zofran and Toradol and nothing did the trick. Neurology came and saw me and it ended up this:

The reason I still have a migraine, and all the other symptoms that popped up like vision disappearances?

They gave me so many different types of painkillers to knock it out, the migraine got worse through body stress, and then it triggered a severe fibro attack.

...

*facepalms*

Anyway I'm on prednisone and benadryl for some amount of time now, already got some benadryl IV, and we'll see how it goes.

*just walks away permanently facepalming*

called my regular neurologist after a lot of trying to translate his absentminded spaztastic professor speaking he's sending me to get an emergency catscan

AND THIS

IS WHY

I SHOULD HAVE CALLED HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE u.u

slept through my er eval hurrrrr sister's going to bed now beeeh i can barely type words i'm kinda worried about that uhhhh

:D;